


too far, too far i need you (too far, you're too far)

by orphan_account



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: (eventual) Mutual Pining, (in the ending), Aged-Up Character(s) (they're in high school), Alternative Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Boys In Love, First Kiss, Happy Ending, Implied Self-Hatred, Implied underage drinking, In the Beginning, M/M, New Year's Eve, New Year's Kiss, Somewhat, Unrequited Love, ben hanscom needs more appreciation, if u can call it that, pure boys, the beginning is a lil sad i guess?, the billverly is only mentioned like twice bc yikes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-31
Updated: 2017-12-31
Packaged: 2019-02-25 20:04:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13220208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: ben hanscom wanted to be mike hanlonbut beverly marsh he wanted to be withor so he thought....(lowercase intended!)





	too far, too far i need you (too far, you're too far)

**Author's Note:**

> howdy-hey!
> 
> i this wrote instead of getting ready for a party so yah here you go lmao also this is just something i came up with this morning and i had to write it down. i'm quite content with this (even tho its probably shitty i was kinda hurried)  
> plz excuse any spelling mistakes i wrote this on my phone with fake nails on and BOI WAS IT A CHALLENGE and i was too lazy to proof-read and had no time anyway bc i gotta zayn any minute now
> 
> the title is inspired by osaka's "tease" which is a fucking bop!!! shameless promo: follow my spotify @/juli.pkt i made some playlists and there might be some bops in them

ben hanscom envied mike hanlon.

 

mike, who was all broad and buff and had the girls swooning over him. like ben he was heavy, but not heavy with fat (like himself, ben thought) but rather with heaps of muscle. mike hanlon: muscular, sporty, admired, cool, popular, was all he ever wanted to be.

 

 

ever since ben was little he despised his figure and watching his friends grow into their perfect bodies while he was still just fat ben hanscom didn’t really help. he could run however long he wanted and skip as many meals as possible but the way he saw it, the fat just didn’t seem to leave, almost like a nasty, nasty tumor that nisted itself into your body and that could only be removed through surgery. 

 

what ben envied the most about mike was the fact that he could make girls fall in love with him with just the blink of an eye. ben swore that every girl in their high school crushed hard on the tall boy with dark hair and the most mesmerizing chocolate brown eyes just like every loser at least once in their life had crushed on beverly. beverly marsh with her fiery red hair down to her chest, glowing blue eyes and constellations of freckles across her whole body.  in his eyes, but not only in his, she was the most beautiful thing in the entire universe. whenever he saw her he felt the butterflies in his stomach and whenever she came near him his heart went  _boomboomboom_ . he longed for her and he had longed for her the first time he ever laid his eyes on her and ever since.

 

mike hanlon he wanted to be

 

but beverly marsh he wanted to be with.

 

or so he thought....

 

* * *

 

mike hanlon always saw ben hanscom through different eyes than everyone else. he saw more than just a boy that once used to be fat, and still thinks he is, even though he is maybe half the size he used to be. more than a quiet boy, that kept himself hidden in thick books with pages of poetry or fiction, with an immense crush on a red-haired girl he secretely gave the nickname january embers to, a girl that would never love him back the way he loved her. ben‘s heart burned for her but her heart burned for the stuttering boy with auburn hair. 

mike saw the poems ben wrote about beverly marsh, he saw the passion of a writer glowing in his eyes. he knew that while ben‘s mouth seemed to rarely ever form a sentence or two, his mind was going a thousand miles a minute, filled with things he didn‘t dare to say out loud. 

mike always found himself wondering what was going on in ben hanscom‘s head, wanted to waste hours listening to what ben had to say but never had the courage to. he wished he knew had more words to describe him, he could write entire books about the boy but they would never do him justice.

 

mike hanlon always knew he liked boys just as much as girls, if not even a bit more and he knew he was falling hard for ben hanscom.

 

* * *

 

eventually, the losers started pairing off. richie and eddie‘s thing for one another became as obvious as it could and they found themselves spending even more time with each other, just the two of them without the rest of the losers. it was the same with bill and beverly, who were basically boyfriend and girlfriend and always sneaking off at parties to make out. and stan had met a cute girl in the birdwatching club he recently had joined, he often brought her along to club meetings.

so it was really just ben and mike left and naturally, they started spending a lot of time together. mike always took ben with him to his shifts at the library so that he could roam the shelves or sit at a table by himself and read a new gem he discovered. ben found himself reading a few history books now and then, too (by mike’s recommendation), even though he normally disliked them. 

in return, mike agreed to listen to _‘_ _ben‘s alternative/indie shit’_ which turned out to be _‘_ _not that shitty actually’_.

they often worked on the farm together and fed the animals, they joined the track team (even though mike was already busy enough with football) and sometimes mike came home with ben and helped him cook dinner.

he found out a lot more about mike hanlon than the losers ever know, like that he always accompanies his grandparents for bingo night, that he prefers to eat vegan and cook with organic, self-harvested ingredients, that he would never turn down a good rap song but his guilty pleasure is grunge (especially nirvana), that he loves to wear ochre and mustard yellow colors because he finds that they fit his skin tone the most and that he still rides his bike everywhere even though he already has a drivers license.

ben hanscom would easily consider mike, the boy he always envied so much, his best friend and being with him helped him with his heartache over bev and bill being together. 

it gave him confidence that mike would always listen to his pointless rambling and laugh at his awkward attempts of jokes, overall he found himself getting more and more secure thanks to the boy that was slowly making his way into his heart. ben started to notice the changes in his body too, how his shirts were way too big and baggy and his jeans hung really loose on his hips.

 

* * *

 

it was new years eve and the losers club was attending the party of some football jock, when mike found the little piece of paper, neatly folded stuffed into the back pocket of his jeans. he took it out and unfolded it, scanning over the words that were nearly written down, smiling. 

he knew from who it was immediately, without there being a name signed under it and without needing to analyze the handwriting he knew by heart.

 

 

from the open kitchen of the house, ben hanscom worriedly watched mike hanlon as his long fingers unfolded the paper. he prayed to god that this time, there wouldn’t be some dumb misunderstanding and some other person would take credit for his writing. 

he turned his gaze to his empty cup and didn’t dare to look up, cheeks flushed red as mike let his gaze wander around the room.

did mike actually like him back? or did he just misinterpret the signals? did mike just see him as a really good friend?

 

he was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t notice the muscular figure coming to a halt in front of him until the smell of vanilla, alcohol and a faint bit of musk surrounded him and calloused hands took the red cup out of his own, then grabbing his face and turning it upwards. mike was standing so close to ben that his breath was fanning his face, making him smell even more alcohol. behind them, people started counting down but all ben could concentrate on were the brown eyes looking into his own.

“i feel it too.”, mike finally said and then, just as the clock striked midnight ( _like in some cheesy romance movie_ , ben noted), they were finally kissing, with firecrackers going off outside and everyone cheering, even if not for them, and it was the best thing ever.

 

and ben hanscom knew it for sure: he definitely wanted to be  _with_ mike hanlon.

 

 

(what the paper said:)

**_you are a masterpiece_ **

**_a work of art so wonderful_ **

**_but no one else seems to see_ **

**_your smile so bright_ **

**_that i feel i might go blind_ **

**_your eyes, deep and brown and dark_ **

**_so deep that i would drown_ **

**_if i tried to take a swim_ **

**_there‘s not enough words for me for you_ **

**_to describe how perfect you are, with all your flaws_ **

**_oh what i feel for you_ **

**_do you feel it too?_ **

**Author's Note:**

> ahhh pls don't scream at me ik the thing that ben wrote for mike is really bad but i couldn't find a good poem so i wrote smth myself
> 
> thanks for reading i hope you enjoyed it! i originally wanted to finish my reddie series but i'll just do that in the new year i guess (im a really shitty writer LmaO)
> 
> ok byoooo im gonna go party and get fucked up yay!!!!! happy new year's yall thx for reading my shit and also follow my tumblr @/scintillatingstars i sometimes reblog funny/IT-related stuff  
> julie xx


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